I learned alot of things getting married. You don’t have to be a perfect bride (and you probably won’t be – I was stressed on my wedding day, not because I didn’t plan or didn’t enter it purposefully vowing to be calm and serene but because life happened and bridesmaid’s got flats and fiancé’s trucks broke down and flowers got stuck in traffic, etc. etc.) and I realized that even striving to be an ideal was a waste of my energy and a focus on myself. I learned that if it really doesn’t matter, then don’t let people try to make it matter. My shoes didn’t matter in the least, I grabbed a pair of cheap ones at the last minute. Having a cake didn’t matter either but it did to my mom, so I had one. Sometimes you just give and it ends up being less stressful than resisting and sometimes you say no and trust that life will move on. Sometimes you put your foot down – I really wanted real dishes and even though it seemed absurd to everyone, including my fiancé, I didn’t let pressures tell me I was being frivolous and went for what mattered to me and I’m so glad! I nearly cried in arguing with Matt about sitting down during the homily – that mattered to me also but I gave in and it was no big deal!

I regret not being calmer and I regret a detail here and there but regret is deceptive sometimes. It tells us things mattered that really didn’t and still don’t. My marriage is THE MOST wonderful gift I’ve ever received save Christ. And the wedding, at its highest point of beauty and lowest point of ‘failure’ was still just a pale reflection of that.

I know you know all this – but allow the grace of Mason, even in these crazy times, to remind you of the gift of him.

I love you! I’m SO proud of you! And I think you a fantastic bride already

I write a blog about marriage and how men can better love their wives. I hope you and your fiance will check it out when you have a chance.

http://whatsheneedsfromyou.wordpress.com

Thanks