Abundance

Life is full these days.

It’s overflowing with prayers and tears for hurting friends and family.

It’s spilling over with students and piles of rustling papers to grade.

It’s bursting with thoughts about one of the most wonderful films I’ve ever seen, Slumdog Millionaire. (Please see this movie.)

It’s brimming with enjoyment of music and beauty and the stunning creativity God has given us.

It’s abounding with learning to love as Jesus loves us.   It’s quite a feeling.

Amid all this, I’m reminded of where the source of joy truly lies.

“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

. . . “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.”  ~From Luke 12

The Love of God

. . . is huge.  Vast, enormous, boundless, beyond my comprehension.

I’ve been thinking about it lately. I think I naturally view the love of God like I view the love of a human–it can be pretty vast, but it has limits.  Human love still has fear, and sometimes it doesn’t know exactly what to do.  

But the love of God . . . oh my goodness.  It is magnificently large.  It encompasses everything I am and everything I could be and everything I was and will be.  It can handle my doubts and fears and questions–and it will take in and enjoy all of my joys and happiness.  His love surrounds me.  It frees me to a life of security and hope and courage–and love. 

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And ’til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I’ll trust in You
~Hillsong, “‘Til I See You” 

(community)

It’s late-ish, and I’m brewing a cup of tea.  My roommate is nailing up a bead curtain at the entrance to our kitchen. (Completely awesome.)  

And I’m thinking about community, in general and specific. In specific, we have wonderful new neighbors at the Enclave of Abnormality, and they are quickly becoming so dear.  It’s a re-discovered joy to live in this little duplex, in this little community. It’s in the random un-planned moments that it’s genius–spontaneous jam sessions next to the bookshelves, multiple pots of tea, helpless laughter.

I was having coffee with Stacy the other week and he was saying that in the Western church, we view spiritual growth largely as something we do on our own–”I’m going to read my Bible more, and pray more, etc.” But in reality, and biblically, we grow spiritually largely in community.  In the midst of those hilarious jam sessions and pots of tea, something happens.  We grow in friendship, in honesty, in serving others, in understanding the presence of Christ.

In general, community seems to be on the minds of many.  To be honest it’s almost a bit of a fad.  But I hope not.  I hope we’re realizing that we need each other, that we need to know and be known.  We are all interconnected, like it or not.  And joy comes when we embrace it.  We are nourished and renewed.

Autumn Leaves

Autumn comes as such a surprise every year.  I’m just going along, minding my own business, and then BAM! The world is ablaze in color.  This year the leaves are particularly spectacular.  The weather has been fantastic as well, resulting in a lovely contrast of bright orange against a startlingly blue sky.

 

In honor of autumn, I have the following recommendations for enjoying the season to its fullest:

1.  Sweet Potato Soup.  This is one of my favorite recipes, and it’s unbelievably easy.  It’s also filling and nutritious and can be almost endlessly “stretched” to accommodate guests.

2.  Chai Tea Latte from Sneaky Beans.  If you don’t live in town, Chai from Starbucks will do, but this is simply the best I have ever had.

3.  The Visitor.  I had never heard of this film, but just happened to pick it up at Blockbuster.  It’s a beautiful film about human relationships, re-discovering joy, and the heartbreaking reality that we don’t always get what we want. 

4.  Special Topics in Calamity Physics.  This book is incredibly fun, and chock-full of literary allusions.  Mystery, unexplained deaths, eccentric characters–it’s got it all.  It’s a fun ride as well as a workout for the mind.  

5.  Music.  To secure the highest enjoyment of this fall season, I suggest that you immediately download the following songs:
“1234″ by Feist
“Decatur” by Sufjan Stevens
“I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz
“Dark Side” by Polly Paulusma
“Strawberry Fields Forever” from the Across the Universe soundtrack
“Your Love is Strong” by Jon Foreman

6.  Buy several pieces of vintage clothing.  Vintage clothes are fabulous all year round, but particularly in the fall, for whatever reason.

7. (Note to self) Enjoy the season. Open your eyes.  Find community and relish it.  Take a deep breath.  The colors won’t last forever, and perhaps their impermanence is their beauty.

Two things you told me:
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me
~Jon Foreman

Forgiveness?

“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”  Or, as the KJV puts it, “as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  ”Trespass against us” sounds way worse.  Debt is reminiscent of owing someone $15 or something minor like that, but trespassing–that sounds so violating. I can forgive a $15 debt, but a trespass?  I’m not sure.  Theft, rape, murder, rejection, terrorism, and unfair rumor-mongering sound like trespassing sins to me, and those are much harder to let go.

I just finished reading Rob Bell’s new book Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile, so this topic of forgiveness is fresh on my mind. 

Bell writes, “We saw Isaiah’s declaration that Egypt, Assyria, and Israel would worship together.  Egypt, the enemy? Assyria, the hated?  If the prophet were to speak to us today, painting pictures of what it will look like when Jesus comes to town, what pictures would he give us?  Who are our enemies today?  What would be the modern equivalent of this? Taliban, my son?  Al-Qaeda, my beloved?”

Seriously, Al-Qaeda?  Seriously?  Do you really mean I have to forgive that person who hurt me deeply?  Who trespassed, crossing a boundary that should be unforgivable?  

Yes, it does.  I think that’s ultimately how Christ reveals himself in this world, when we are willing to look in the eyes of our enemy with love and compassion.  Ouch.  I’m not sure I can do that.  But Jesus did it . . . can I follow his example, to the point of pain?  To the point of death?  To the point of offering my pride and self-righteousness and my need to have the upper hand?

Trust, Cheap Books, and Starbucks Quotes

• I’ve realized recently how much trust is tied in with longevity and commitment. Interestingly, now that I’m teaching for a second year, I seem to have earned greater respect than I did last year, and from those beyond my immediate students or the ones I’ve taught previously. Even the older kids seem to care about what I think; they talk to me in a sincere way–not just a “hi” in the hallway.  It’s almost as if I actually exist now that I have returned for another year.  I believe in them enough to come back, so now they can believe in me.
• Pop culture has finally triumphed in my reading habits of late–I’ve succumbed to the Twilight series.  While not “great” literature by any means, they are captivating for sure.  The teenage protagonist, Bella, is a very believable character–wise beyond her years, but at the same time impulsive, awkwardly unaware of her own beauty, constantly embarrassed, and caught in a world that she doesn’t understand.  A very accurate portrayal of most teenage girls.
• The clearance aisle of Books-A-Million has become highly addictive to me.  Seriously, $2.97 books!  I do need to read some of the unread books I have at home, though.  My love for books and my desire to be completely surrounded by them has intensified as I now actually have enough money to buy them.  I’m a sucker for cheap books (perhaps the only way in which I am unlike Kathleen Kelly), but even more for matching editions and well-designed covers.  The other day I was highly tempted to buy a copy of The Three Musketeers simply because the cover was designed in comic-strip format.  I don’t need The Three Musketeers; I’ve already read it, and it will likely be a while before I re-read it.  But it was such an awesome cover!  (I did resist, though.)
• I’ve taken to visiting Starbucks every morning, just because Pike Place Roast makes the day so much better.  Also, it’s fun to be a “regular” and have the baristas there know automatically what I want.  Also, it is right off the interstate and thus adds only 5 minutes onto my commute.  I admit it freely–I’m addicted.  There are worse, more expensive addictions.  (I remind myself of this often.)  Books and coffee?  I’ll take it.
• Speaking of Starbucks, the quote cups have returned, and I’m so happy about it.  (I was a bit tired of the slightly vulgar “original” logo.)  Here’s quote #141:

“I used to feel so alone in the city.  All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person?  I was very stumped by this for many years.  And then I realized, you just say “hi.”  They  may ignore you.  Or you may marry them.  And that possibility is worth that one word.”
~Augusten Burroughs

Beautiful.  Have a fantastic weekend.

Seeking Christ in Seating Charts

Today was our first day of staff development as I get ready to jump into another school year.  It was exciting and wonderful, and I’m thrilled to be back.  We have a new administrator and many returning teachers, all good things.  I have positive expectations for this year.
 
There is much to do-seating charts, classroom procedures, lesson planning-and it’s easy to get bogged down in minutia.  Sometimes I forget that in three days, there will be squirming junior high bodies in my classroom, and they will be wondering if I can give them what I promise-a worthwhile year of unbounded learning and growing.  I hope I will make good on my promise to them, and I intend to work as hard as I can toward that goal.
 
I’m excited.  I will have new students and some of the same (thankfully in another grade-no repeats this year).  I can’t wait to get to know them and teach them all I can. 
 
Still, I’m sure my excitement doesn’t come from my own strength.  In my natural mind and state, I react in the way I did last night as I couldn’t sleep-heart-pounding fear and wondering “what am I doing in this job??!?!?!”  But in the strength of the Lord, I am aware that this is indeed my calling, and it gives me great joy.  He’s put me here, and he promises to carry me through.  And his promises are sure.
 
Lord, help me help them.  Make me your instrument in the lives of these 12- and 13-year-olds.  May they learn and seek and be inspired to read and explore the world, but most of all to pursue you with all their beings.  Bless them and ready them and me for the joy of learning together this year.
 
Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to thee
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise

.

 

Are There Limits?

(No Spoilers)

Last night I went to see The Dark Knight with KC and Sarah, along with pretty much the rest of America.  I won’t spoil it for you, but suffice it to say that it was incredible.  The film was masterfully written, brilliantly acted (for the most part) and altogether amazing.

And, though everyone is saying this, it’s true: Bravo, Heath Ledger.

However, I won’t be seeing this movie again any time soon.  I found it to be worth my $8, but uncomfortable and disturbing.  Why?  Because Heath Ledger was so, so good.  (Aaron Eckhart, too, deserves a mention.)  The Joker in this film was in no way funny–there was no part of this villian I could dismiss easily.  He was so real.  So sick.  So believable.

And this begs the question: was it worth it?  There has been a lot of hearsay and rumor about the circumstances concerning Heath Ledger’s death, and those of us who only know about it through the news will probably never understand the reality of the situation.  But if playing this character did truly mess with his mind, if it did disturb him to the point of total insomnia, I wonder if it should have even been attempted.  Is it possible to play such a character without becoming mentally unhinged?  I don’t know. 

Are there limits to what we can take on without incurring destruction?  Where does all this end?  Sure, it’s just a movie, but at what cost?

Unearthing the secret

At the moment I’m in Florida, enjoying the sunshine and the company of two of my best friends in the world.  It’s beautiful and warm, and the water is extremely salty–an excellent combination.  I’m very glad Lydia and I made this trip here to see Sarah.  It has helped my mood tremendously.  As we flew back to the States from Scotland, I felt mopey and depressed to be leaving.  Discontentment had risen to a cacophony in my head–”Why do I have to leave?  I like Scotland so much better!  I’m not adequate for my job or my current responsibilities!  I’m just going to work in a flower shop in Edinburgh and read dozens of books.”

But now I’m feeling better, having surfed.  Still, I know that’s a lack of maturity, to let external circumstances hold such sway over the inner attitude of my heart.  How can I find joy in everything, no matter if I get what I want?  Whether I’m exhilarated by travel, or exhausted by teaching, I can be content if I’m fulfilling my calling.  Which I know I am.  So I long to find it, this secret of being content in every situation.

If Christ is my strength, I can rest in him, whether in a castle or the classroom. His love knows no boundaries, and my circumstances are freedom when I look to him for guidance. That is what I seek.

 

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13

Over the Sea

In just a matter of hours, I’ll board a plane and be off to Scotland.  I have waited a year and a half since I returned to the states, and I am overjoyed to be returning.  In many ways, it feels like a home-going.  Still, I know my experience this time will be different, enlightening in new ways.  The familiar and the new will blend, deepening my understanding and giving me fresh eyes on the world.

Kent Nerburn has written a lovely little book called Letters to my Son, and the loveliest chapter in that book is the one on travel.  He writes about traveling as superior to tourism, and I agree.  I travel to see people, to learn culture, without thinking it’s so important to spend lots of money or ride tour buses.  I want to immerse and live in a place, no matter how long I’m there.

“Because I have traveled, I can see other universes in the eyes of strangers. . . . If we don’t offer ourselves to the unknown, our senses dull. Our world becomes small and we lose our sense of wonder. Our eyes don’t lift to the horizon; our ears don’t hear the sounds around us. The edge is off our experience, and we pass our days in a routine that is both comfortable and limiting.”

Here I go, chasing that sense of wonder, that ever-distant horizon.